“Loving Relationships”

August 15, 2006


“A loving relationship is two sovereign enitities who come together with God as the lintel post that binds them. The winds of Heaven play freely about them and between them.” They can look at each other and say, “I love in you both my light and my flaw because you are my beloved mirror.”

Humanity has believed that relationships are simply something that will occur. That if two people agree to be in relationship it is going to work. If there is a passion—the desire for sexual involvement, the physical attraction– then that passion is going to hold the relationship together. Yet if there is no love, which is the cement that holds the relationship together, then that passion will burn hot and probably burn out.

The depth of understanding required in relationships is a complex and intricate situation. Each person that comes to a relationship must begin to seek to understand Self.

Questions to ask yourself: “What am I bringing to this relationship?”

“What am I looking for in a relationship?”

“What do I believe a relationship is?”

“What was I taught about relationships by my parents or

others in my world?

Relationships. How often in the name of love do two come together, only to find they are drawing lines in the sand, creating a battleground, prepared to wound and be wounded because “love hurts”. As we speak of these things each one recognizes aspects of themselves in all of this for these are the bricks in the wall that cause relationships to be difficult, to be challenging, to be hard, to be unhappy, to be miserable. There are many entities that are in legalized relationships. They have a piece of paper that says they are in a relationship and they are lonelier than they would be by themselves. The expectations, the control games, the “this is how it’s got to be” are not about loving relationships. Whether the relationship is intimate, whether it is business or whether it is friendship, many relationships are about one partner telling the other what to do. The submissive partner either complies or rebels. In codependent relationships, one day the partners rebel and the next day they comply. The confusion that comes from that imbalance causes everyone to be unclear about what the relationship really is.

Love can take two very different individuals and bring them together in a loving relationship because each one has committed to themselves, “I am willing, not only to love you, but I am willing to love myself. I am willing to find out what is lovely about me, what is lovely about you. I am willing to hear my ego begin to point out the flaw and have such a powerful list of the things that are good, things that are right with the relationship, with the beloved, with my self that I can be with the love. I am willing to spend more time discovering what is good and what is beautiful and what is right with this relationship, with my self, with the beloved. I am willing in love to forgive going over and over and over the flaw.”

Relationships grow and expand and very often are different each day. There are the foundations of what is good and sweet and right. The changes bring new ideas and expand the two who are involved. The humor in love is very often over the same things that would be considered painful when there is no love. Love will allow you to hear something from the beloved and say you have a point. In an unloving relationship one could say the same thing to the other and it would be a wound. A loving relationship requires that you renew your vows of love to yourself, as well as each other. Love is a constant, but the humans that share in it can be very inconsistent. A loving relationship is perpetuated because at least one of the two is always in love. “Today I may not feel very loving, but my beloved loves me and I know it. It helps me to remember how to love myself again. Love creates such a strong bond that even when I am out of love I remember how much you love me and even if we should both be out of love at the same time, love will help us to remember that we have love.”

Many people judge love by what another can do for them. If you are being kind to me, if you are doing what I want you to, if you are bringing me gifts then you must love me and if you are not, then you don’t love me. This is a relationship based on things and not on love. There is no faith because each moment one must have the proof that the other is still in love.  The two cannot have a life because one is always demanding proof from the other. “I don’t trust you, but prove that you love me again by bringing me another gift or doing something else that I want you to do for me. Be better to me, work harder, and try more.” Oft times one partner will attempt to prove to the disbelieving partner, “I really love you”. “If one partner is invested in dissatisfaction it doesn’t matter how much of a servant the beloved becomes, it isn’t good enough. There is never enough love.  Then the relationship disintegrates because one person alone cannot make a relationship for the two people that are involved. One person is neither required to nor responsible for holding a relationship together by themselves. Disillusionment in relationships often occurs from the idea that one can love enough for two.

There is an illusion that women are supposed to be so strong that they can hold a union together and yet they must appear to be weak so that the man can be in control. Very often this contributes to the dissatisfaction that can divide a relationship. One partner secretly believing that they are better, stronger or more powerful than the other, adds bricks to the wall of separation that keep people from a loving relationship.

There are those who are in relationship with one of their own gender. The same rules apply, because it does not matter if the union is a man and a woman or two men or two women, the roles that are played out in relationship will show up. If there is no love the relationship is destined from the beginning to become a battleground.

Hollywoodromance is very often portrayed as the little war games of loving arguments, get-backs, or competition. There are many people that believe that the only way to relate to another is to put them down, to degrade them, to point out their flaws—“ha, ha, ha, it was just a joke” The society of today has learned about relationships from the movies or people who had no understanding of how to be intimate. In fact the fear of intimacy has contributed to the illusions of romance.

Flexibility is an important factor in loving relationships. If there are rules about how the relationship must look, feel or appear that rigidity comes from the bricks in the wall each one has built to protect themselves from intimacy. The ability to be flexible if the partner does not want the same thing at the same time brings greater harmony to the union. Keeping neediness out of the relationship makes for much more ease in solving issues that arise. All of this begins with each person’s willingness to discover how it feels to be in love with self. Ego would say that loving self is to demand that, “I get my own way in everything”. Truly, getting ones own way all of the time can lead to such imbalance that no love exists at all. Always giving in to the other person leads to martyr hood. Flexibility is a give and take without the necessity to keep a ledger, “You got your way the last time, so it is my time now.”

“We as Goddesses/Ascended Masters have loving relationships with our Divine Counterparts that are beyond what humans in this time could even attempt to understand.  However, Divine Love will begin to return to you, as you are willing to allow it. Those of us in the higher energy realms are holding the intension for this understanding for all of the people of Earth. Our gift to each one is the desire that unconditional love will cease to be a fantasy of something that has nothing to do with life on Earth and will become as natural as your breath. In love we are with you. Farewell.”